Monday, July 30, 2012

Freedom Is Beautiful!

I'm baaack!!!  I have to tell y'all, so far 2012 has been one heck of a roller coaster ride.  The first couple of months kicked my butt in every way you might imagine.  Stress at work, led to stress at home and you know it all went downhill from there.  The only good to come out of it is that I lost 11 lbs. in two weeks and apparently became so stressed out that my typically high blood pressure normalized itself - go figure.  Fortunately, this chaos was short-lived and I was back on track just in time to be let go from my job in April.

Now don't start tuning your violins or pulling out Kleenex for me because I have to tell you, I LOVE my new found freedom!  To wake up each morning and not have the stress or tension that comes with the morning commute and high school histrionics of office politics is incredibly liberating.  To be honest, this change was a long time coming.  For years, my husband and even my mother have been practically begging me to leave my job.  I wanted to...I really did, but when you've got excellent medical benefits, bills to pay, etc. it's hard to just walk away and if you think being laid off makes it any easier, you're wrong.  In some ways, it's a little harder because your exit isn't really on your terms and sometimes you tend to take it a little more personally.  This was not the case for me though.  I'll admit my first reaction was one of anger.  I felt like after 11 years of service the least they could have done was have the decency to let me go the night before, so I wouldn't have had to waste my gas on the morning commute - 45min or so driving a SUV in stop-and-go traffic is not cheap.  Fortunately, these feelings quickly gave way to a sense of relief, followed by excitement!  I was actually thrilled to be let go!  Yes, you read that right - I was thrilled and I left the building that morning feeling like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders!  As I said, my family had been asking me to move on for quite some time and truthfully speaking, I can't blame them.  I'd been unhappy in my role for years and tried to move out of it, but despite my best efforts I simply couldn't.  Like anyone else, I shared my frustrations with my husband & my mother, but I never really realized how much my misery affected them.  It became blatantly clear when I called both of them (individually) to inform them of my release and they both responded by saying "Good!  I've been telling you to leave for the longest time and now it's finally over!" All I could do in response was laugh and agree with them that yes, it was finally over.

Of course, my departure caused a stir and the rumor mill started churning out stories before I even got to my car.  Someone actually believed that I went out in some sort of rage and had to be escorted by Security.  Well, I hate to disappoint my "haters" but it was not nearly as exciting as all that.  At the end of the day, I was employee #whatever with X amount of dollars attached to me and it was my time to go...nothing more, nothing less.  Like many others that have left before me, I value the experiences I had with my former employer - good, bad or ugly I learned something from each and every person I encountered there.

So, what are my days like now?  Well, I'm still up at 5am and end somewhere between 11pm - midnight.  I spend a few hours each day preparing the Twinks for kindergarten and having some real quality time with them, organizing and re-structuring things to make my house a complete home, indulging my entrepreneurial spirit via my new t-shirt/product design company, DeSadas Style, and looking for opportunities to work as an independent contractor.  Is it a lot to have going on all at once? Absolutely, but it's so worth it!  Seriously, independence is truly meant for me.  I know in my heart of hearts, I am now exactly where I am supposed to be because I've never been happier!  I have spent my entire life trying to be part of the conventional model we're all taught to conform to from birth and quite frankly, it's never worked for me.  Through all my years of schooling and becoming part of the working class, I have asked the same question "Why do I have to do things this way or that way?"  The customary reply is "This is the way the world, this is how it has to be."  Well, I no longer accept this answer and for those of you whom are ready, I challenge you to do the same.  For those whom are happy where you're at - carry on!  I am doing what's best for me;  you need to do what's best for you.  It's taken me a long time to accept that this change in my life was not only necessary, but vital for me as an individual, but also for the sake of my marriage and my family.  I am finally free of the herd (aka Corporate America) and I'm never going back!

Wish me luck & buckle up - this is going to be quite an adventure!!