In the local scene, my husband is known as Dizzy and if you've seen him perform, you know that he enjoys living up to this name! He can get so charged up during a performance that he literally spins around on stage! His genre of choice is metal and the bands he's played in have performed all over the DMV. Many people find it hard to believe that not only am I married to this "crazy" metalhead, but I actually enjoy being at his shows and I'm a bit of a metalhead, too! For some reason it's still shocks a few people that I'm a Black woman who's in to metal...you'd think by 2012 we'd be well beyond such racial boundaries, but apparently not. Oh well, moving on. When I first met Dizzy, he was so heavily involved in music that I knew in order to be in a relationship with him, I had to be willing to accept his "other woman". I affectionately call her, Mistress Music. Mistress Music can be a relentless beast with a never-ending hunger and if she's not happy, then your musician isn't happy. No, really - if the music isn't coming out the way he envisions it, it's often best to steer clear of the hubs for a little while and let his frustration at not being able to heed the Mistress' call pass. Remember, musicians are passionate, emotional beings and though not all get to make it big in the music industry, every song and every performance is often done as if it's going to be their breakout hit.
As his girlfriend, and now his wife, I have always understood that the relationship between Dizzy and the Mistress will at times take precedence in our lives. Between recording commitments, band practices, shows and holding down a regular job, making time for the family might seem next to impossible. This is where I come in. Like many wives, I do my best to make sure that my family is happy, healthy, etc. and we all know it's never easy, but when you add in balancing all his band stuff, you can imagine how my life goes from hectic to crazy FAST! Furthermore, as a Rock Star's wife I also have to accept that sometimes the band commitments may have to come first and, to put it bluntly, sacrifices must be made all in the name of pursuing a passion. I think it goes without saying that our biggest sacrifice is our alone time. For example, most Friday nights typically belong to band practice and a couple times a month Date Night is spent hanging out at whatever bar or club the guys are playing at. If they're headlining, it means they're closing the show and my night doesn't end until some unearthly hour the next day! In fact, this just happened to us last month. Silence the Blind (hub's band) just had their last show of 2012 at the end of September and for us it was a 23 hour day. You read that right - a 23 HOUR DAY! The show was on a Friday night, but we still had our regular responsibilities of kids and work fulfill. So, just like any other day, we were up at 5am, went through our regular routines, I added in dropping the kids off at Grandma's for the night, so I could go to the show and we were home by 3am. You might think it's over once you arrive home, but you'd be wrong - we still had to unload some of his equipment and shower (metal musicians are sweaty beasts after a performance - no way do you want all that nastiness in your bed!) So, sleep was not a possibility until 4am Saturday! Sure, it's brutal and by no means glamourous, but in my opinion, this is a small price to pay for my husband's happiness and since it doesn't happen on a regular basis, it's really not that bad. The real bonus for me is that I get the opportunity to see my husband do what he loves most! Is there anything better than that?!?! This, my friends, is why I go to every show that I can. Most of the time, you'll find me right in front of the stage, cheering him on and snapping pictures like I'm the paparazzi! The times that I can't be there are tough, but it usually means the super powers of Dr. Mom are needed at home and you all know how I much I care about my little Twinkies.
Some people have praised me for being a good wife, who "allows" her husband to live out his dreams of rock stardom, but that's not how I see things at all. I am merely a woman who fell in love with a man, who was already in love with Mistress Music. I support my husband's passion with the same intensity and devotion that he supports mine...and that is what it takes to be a Rock Star's wife...
Until next time - be well, support local music & ROCK ON!
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Get Mistress Music gear, like Dizzy's t-shirt, here!