Florida Family Vacation

This year's family vacation took us to beautiful South Florida - West Palm Beach to be exact!  Yes, we're bold enough to go to FL in August and no, we did not stop at any of the Orlando theme parks.  That may seem cruel to some, but walking around masses of sweaty, stressed out parents and their sensory overloaded spawn is not my idea of fun.  However,  after hearing about how beautiful the South Florida beaches are with their crystal clear waters and intense sunshine (seriously, bring LOTS of sunscreen lotion) I couldn't wait to check it out!

Now I'm not going to lie, the drive is not for the faint of heart.  It took us 17 hours (with frequent stops) to get to our destination, but having been numerous times as a kid, I kind of already knew what I was getting in to.  As for the Twinks - they did really well!  Granted they had received plenty of warnings from Yours Truly to not dare ask "how much longer?" or "are we there yet?" in the weeks leading up to the trip, but I'm sure that had nothing to do with it! (wink, wink)

Our first night in town was basically spent stretching out from the car ride (ha!) and taking in the fact that we were FINALLY on vacation and could finally unplug from work.  The next morning we headed out to what would become our favorite spot, Boynton Beach.

This place was awesome!  We spent hours playing in the water, watching the fish swimming around our legs (I mentioned the crystal clear water, right?!) and collecting sea shells.  It was so nice to see the twins enjoying the water for a change - this is something that NEVER happens when we go to Ocean City, MD.  There we can't get the kids near the water, here we couldn't get them out of the water; their endless laughter was music to my ears!  One of my favorite things about this spot was the fact that there were bathrooms, a showering off area and lots of parking.  You do have to pay to get in here, but trust me, it's $5 well spent.

Our next destination was Delray Beach.  This beach was equally beautiful and the area had lots of boutique style shops and restaurants.  One word of caution for parents with younger children - this beach does NOT have direct access to bathrooms; public bathrooms are located across the street, so unlike this Rock Star mama, be sure you bring a cover-up!  Of course, you can just "let it go" in the ocean...but, yeaaah, let's just not talk about that.

Our third beach excursion took us north of Palm Beach County to Fort Pierce.  Here the water temperature was a little cooler, but still pleasant and the Dynamic Duo once again played to their hearts' content in the warm, crystal blue waters.  A huge plus for this area was the ample FREE parking!!!  But, really isn't this view worth any price?!?

OK, ok - so maybe you've had enough beach...time for some food!  One of the BEST places we went to was a great taco & tequila bar called Rocco's Tacos.  It's in a very hip area known as Clematis, they offer outdoor dining and have some very interesting and unique decor......like monitors in the bathroom stalls showing the movie "Napolean Dynamite" (my kids were SO confused by both the presence of the monitors and the point of the movie.)

Travel Channel fans may also recognize another Clematis hot spot, Grease.  This place is known for it's over-the-top burgers and was recently featured on Travel Channel's "Food Paradise".  Unfortunately, my carnivore hubby didn't get to sample any of their specialties, but there's always next time...

And, what trip to South Florida would be complete without a trip to Miami!  Miami in a word was HOT!  Yes, I know - it was August, what did we expect?  Well, we did expect the heat, but it was just a different kind of heat than what we had experienced up until that point...I believe my exact words to describe it were, "STUPID hot!"  I must say, though, it was beautiful.  The buildings were colorful, the beach was a bit more crowded but, oh soooo nice, the water was stunningly blue/green and I saw wild parrots!!!

So, as you can see my beach-loving bunch had a terrific time vacationing in Florida, despite not setting foot in to a single theme park, and I can't wait to go back!  If you're thinking of taking your next trip here, let me share a few tips with you.

1.  I know it sounds crazy but, consider going in August.  Yes, it's hot but since it's the off season, you can save BIG on your hotel stay and the beaches won't be as crowded!

2.  Take LOTS of sunscreen, apply it heavily and often.  Seriously, the sun is intense and you WILL burn if you don't re-apply, re-apply and re-apply.

3.  Thunderstorms happen at least once a day - the lightning is fierce...do not...I repeat, do NOT try and ride out a storm on the beach or you might just get the shock of your life - LITERALLY!

4.  If you like planning ahead, visit the Palm Beach County tourism site Discover The Palm Beaches they have lots of great information on where to stay, events and attractions.  I also requested them to send me information in the mail and received a very useful map that we used to help plan our travel routes.

Take care, be well and have some fun every once in a while :-)

More Than Just A Name

After weeks of seeing my social media feeds being overwhelmed with stories of the latest officials jumping on the "Change the Name" bandwagon, I feel compelled to pull out my virtual soapbox for a moment.

First, let me say that this post is not about whether the Redskins should change their name - frankly, I've had enough of that conversation.  What is of greater concern to me is the fact that while it's all fine and well to say you feel this way or that about offensive terms (racial or otherwise), our actions behind closed doors are what we really need to focus on changing.

Racism, hatred and even stereotypes are all learned beliefs and behaviors and more often than not, parents are the unwitting teachers.  We take for granted that a child's young age or seemingly inattentive behavior means they aren't listening or don't comprehend what we're saying.  Well, guess what?  Not only are they listening, but they're learning, repeating and even demonstrating some of our most despicable and hateful behaviors and attitudes.  Don't believe me?  Well, why else would a child talk about how they "hate" any language other than English or state that a classmate is rich because they're a certain skin color?  Sure, out of the mouths of children these things may sound harmless and you may even be inclined to say "Oh, they're so young...they just don't know any better."  Trust me, their age has nothing to do with it.  They think it's acceptable because that's how they're being raised!

My point is this - if you want to fix the vast number of injustices and prejudices happening in our great nation, then start by correcting your actions at home and be the true role model our children need.  For those who don't have children, don't think you're excused.  It takes a village to raise a child and a nation to heal it's own wounds.  If you're not part of the solution....

Take care of yourselves and be nice to each other XO
La Nena

For The Love of the Video Game

I have a confession to make - I am a woman and I enjoy video games.  Yes, it's true and I am not ashamed!  I grew up playing on Atari and Nintendo systems.  Now, thanks to the hubs, I have moved on to bigger and better systems like XBox 360, Playstation 3 and the Wii.  In fact, just a few weeks ago we were pulverizing each other in the latest version of Mortal Kombat and causing complete chaos in an old 360 game called Burnout - it's the safest format of road rage you'll ever encounter!  So, it stands to reason that I wholeheartedly support children playing video games.  I know a lot of people think that this leads to kids being obese and lazy, but as long as there is moderation (like with everything else in life) I say, let them play!  In my opinion, video games are fun and really can serve a good purpose in your child's life. 

Aside from educational value, video games are great for "rainy day" entertainment.  The Wii has literally saved my sanity on more than one occasion!  Since their toddler stage, the twinks have proven that they will become little tasmanian devils if they don't have some form of physical activity.  HALLELUJAH! for the Wii and all their sports and playground themed games!!  From golfing to dodgeball, the twinks can be thoroughly entertained for the full 1 - 1 1/2 hours they're allowed to play.  As an added bonus, the only drink they request while playing is water! Yes, WATER!!!  I don't know too many 6 years old that willing seek this out on their own, so I definitely consider this to be an added bonus! 

In addition to the active (physical) games, there are some great benefits to games that are simply played for the fun of gaming.  For instance, my little Mini Me has been developing her fashion design skills on her Nintendo 3DSXL with a Bratz video game that allows her to create outfits and sell them in her own boutique!  This has led to her expressing herself more creatively in paper drawings by using more colors, creating patterns and even illustrating action scenes (ever seen a bunny jumping out of a tree?! I have now!) I know you're probably thinking "Big deal - the kid is drawing more" but when you consider that she used to struggle with even making simple stick figures, this is a big deal!  As for my son, if he's not saving the world as one of his favorite super heroes,  then he's playing a key position on one of his favorite sports teams (mainly the Washington Redskins or the Capitals!)  What I've noticed with both of them is that aside from enhancing their hand-eye coordination and critical thinking skills (yes, even video game football requires critical thinking), the completion of goals and winning trophies in these "just for fun" games has increased my children's confidence.  Sure, it's a bit superficial, but to be honest, I don't care - my children enjoy feeling a sense of accomplishment and I enjoy celebrating their virtual victories!  

Which brings me to the last and most important point I'd like to make today - playing video games is a great opportunity for parents to bond with their children.  What's that?  You don't have time for video games? Oh, they aren't your "thing"?  Well, whether we want them to be or not, video games are very much a part of the 21st Century child's life.  Why not take the time to explore them with your child, instead of allowing someone else to do it for you?  Trust me, it will happen - whether at a play date or a family gathering, your child will discover the art of gaming.  Instead of dreading it, think of it as your chance to show your kids that they can have fun with you, too - you're not just a disciplinarian, who makes and enforces rules ALL the time.  Furthermore, you can teach your child the very valuable lesson of how not to be a sore loser or an ungracious winner.  I think we all can agree that this is a lesson that is better learned in the safety of your home than on the sometimes cruel school playground. 

Now, of course, I am speaking strictly from my own experiences.  Will you and your child's experience be the same as mine? Maybe...maybe not, but you won't know until you've tried.  Also, I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any rules about playing either.  The twinks game playing is mostly reserved for weekends and holidays.  If they are allowed to play during the week, they must first earn the privilege by doing reading or writing homework that I assign to them and to the level of my expectations (which are higher than their teacher's.)  And, please, make sure that your children are only playing the games that are appropriate for their age group.  No matter how much they think they can handle it, NO toddler or kindergartner should be given a Resident Evil or Call of Duty type game.  So, now that I've shared my point of view, let's hear yours....

Living It Up in 2013

Happy New Year!!!

OK, I know I'm a bit late, but between the holidays and battling a vicious cold epidemic in our area, I've been a little busy.  So, here we are more than half way through the first month of 2013, can you believe it?!?  

For those of you diligently sticking to your New Year's Resolutions, I applaud you!   Personally, I've never bought in to the whole resolution thing.  By now, I probably would have conceded defeat and resigned myself to trying again next year.  Instead, I prefer to reflect on the lessons learned and celebrate the goals I achieved during the previous year.  Now, you might think that being home for the past 9 months would mean that there wouldn't be that much for me to recall, but you'd be wrong!  I'm not going to go through all of my events in 2012 - we don't have that kind of time and quite frankly, there are some moments that I'd rather not relive even in memory - instead, I'll share with you the 3 most important things I've learned (in no particular order.)

1. Live out your passion and you will find happiness - Yes, I sound like a fortune cookie, but truth is truth.  I've been working since I was 16 years old and have done everything from retail sales to Veterinary Technician work.  I dedicated myself to giving 100% to each and every task that I did, no matter how big or small (and trust me, this is hard to do this when your day includes cleaning out kennels and litter boxes.)  My last job was an Administrative Assistant role and I was in it for almost 12 years...yes, 12 long and (for the last 3) miserable years.  Did I love it? No. Was I good at it? Yes. Was I ever happy with it? To be honest, no, I was comfortable and since the majority of the other roles didn't appeal to me, I stayed.  Since being freed of my corporate shackles (how's that for dramatic?!) I've been able to focus on pursuing my passions for owning my own business and creating fashion designs.  I'm not delusional enough to think that I'm going to be some overnight success and I already know it's tough and takes A LOT of hard work to be a successful entrepreneur.  Despite these harsh facts, I'm unbelievably happy about the path that I'm on and it shows in my voice, my attitude and my outlook on each day!   You better believe I'm going to be sure to keep this going for 2013!!

2.  Eliminate negativity - Life is too short to let negative influences or reminders weigh you down.  I don't care if it's a person, place or thing - if it is not adding something positive to your life, then it must go!  We've all had or maybe still have at least one friend or acquaintance who just never has anything good to say about anything.  Or maybe there's an object in your home that serves as a reminder of a dark time in your past;  whatever the case may be, it's time to let it all go.  I know it's not easy...many things worth doing aren't.  While Spring cleaning last year I came across a folder that I created when I was probably 11 or 12 years old.  Inside were newspaper articles and poems I wrote in memory of friends who had taken their own lives or were severely  troubled and considered a danger to themselves.  Since I did not attend their funerals and knew that I would not be allowed to visit anyone in a troubled youth facility, this folder was my way of mourning.  This may seem a bit strange to some of you, I know, but at the time it was almost therapeutic for me.  At any rate, last Spring I decided it was finally time to toss the folder and the sadness associated with it, out of my life.  It wasn't easy, but once I did it I literally felt at ease and sort of relieved to have lifted that spiritual weight off my shoulders.  From that moment on, I decided to purge myself of anything or anyone that brings me down.  As the saying goes, "Misery loves company"  Well, Misery is not welcome here and if you catch her trying to creep in to your world, I suggest you slam the door shut and lock it tight!

3.  Be the victor, not the victim - The first step in achieving your goals is to believe in yourself, if you can't do that, then don't even bother trying.  Life is never perfect and some face more trials and tribulations than others, but how you react to it is what determines your victory or defeat.  In my 20 years of employment,  I've been laid off twice.  Both times I've been able to use the opportunities to my benefit and pursue more satisfying endeavors.  In fact, the first time it happened, I was fortunate enough to have a friend working at a staffing agency in the same office building, so that afternoon, after packing up my desk, I went straight to her office and helped out for the rest of the day.  I mentioned earlier, that last year's lay off afforded me the opportunity to pursue my passions, but more importantly, it allowed me to spend some real quality time with my twins and get them prepared for going to school.  These may not sound like tremendous victories to you, but the point is that I turned negative situations in to positive opportunities, instead of wallowing in self pity or claiming to be a victim of circumstance.  I had no idea how things were going to work out then, nor do I know how they'll be this go around, but between my self confidence and the support of my family, there will be no "going gentle in to that good night";  I will forever rage on!  

As I said, these are just a few of the lessons learned that I'll be practicing this year.  What about you all?  I would love to hear what you'll be doing differently this year to live a happier, more balanced life?  Remember, knowledge is power, so don't be shy - share!

Until next time, be well & take care!

Career vs Family - How Do You Choose?

Recently, I've been having a lot of conversations with women who are struggling with the all too familiar dilemma of choosing between careers and family.  Given my current status, I'm sure they expected me to be biased on this issue, but I'm not.  During the past 8 months, I've learned that staying home is not for everyone.  

Most people think this is a black & white type of decision - meaning, either you want to work or you don't.  Well, surprise, surprise - it's not quite so cut and dry.  One thing you may not realize is that there is an incredible amount of pressure and fear involved with making such a life altering decision.  Just think - would it be easy for you to place your families' livelihood solely on your partner's shoulders?  Are you really ready to make some serious personal sacrifices (goodbye name brand products & clothing, hello clearance racks & bargain bins).  Sure, it doesn't sound horrible when you're reading it here, but believe me, it's tough!  

For some, there is a greater concern of choosing between losing their identity or being viewed as abandoning their family should they decide to continue working.  I have to admit, I was really surprised by the number of women who've said they feel as though their career is the last remaining hope to being identified as an individual and not "just Mom" or "So-and-so's spouse" .  I know, I know - in these tough economic times, how can anyone judge an individual for continuing to work after becoming a parent?  We all know children are NOT cheap, especially, if you plan to allow them to have a good, quality education.  The fact of the matter is, no matter how advanced our society becomes there will always be "old school" expectations placed (predominantly) on women when it comes to raising children.  

So, what's my advice for working through all of this?  First and foremost, be honest with yourself about where your heart truly lies.  Listen, deep down we already know what we want in most situations, but are usually too afraid to accept or voice our choices for fear of judgement.  Your decision in this situation could call for some serious preparation, so time is of the essence - don't waste it fighting with yourself.  That being said, if you are on a career path that you simply cannot walk away from, then by all means, continue working and be happy about it!  Trust me, your family will benefit far more from a content, working parent than a miserable, stay home one.  Next, have an open and honest discussion with your partner/spouse about your fears or concerns....ALL of them.  My husband was actually a bit surprised to hear that he was one of my biggest concerns when deciding whether or not to seek a new corporate role.  My fear was that he could resent me for causing him additional stress about our finances, if I chose to remain at home.  In fact, my concerns over these pressures are exactly why I opened my DeSadas Style shop on Cafepress (which, by the way, you can check out here or "like" on Facebook here) and I began seeking freelance opportunities.  Lastly,  for those whom are concerned about losing their identity...I don't know how to say this delicately, so I won't - if you choose to peak out at this point in your life and become "just (insert title/role here)" well, that's on you.  Personally, I don't understand how anyone could allow this to happen, but who am I to judge anyone?  What I can tell you is that I was raised with the belief that you should always be striving for growth at every stage of your life.  If you feel that you HAVE to choose to place your drive or ambitions aside for the sake of caring for your family, then let me remind you that your family will benefit far more from a content, passionate individual than a miserable one.

Until next time, my friends... 

Be well & take care!

Thankful For Everything...Even Me!

The Thanksgiving holiday has come to an end and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it!  My home was filled with the lively sound of latin music, the rich smells of a wonderful feast, and joyous roars of love and laughter...it was FANTASTIC!!  Every day, I am grateful to have the unconditional love and support I receive from my husband and the twinks.  I am also fortunate to have family and friends that accept and love me as I am.  What I am especially thankful this year to have discovered a new level of inner strength and belief in myself.  Yes, I know it's a bit narcissistic, but it's true.  

In my earlier posts, I commented on how the first portion of this year was rough and, to be honest, there were many times I almost gave up on any hope.  All of this began to change when I decided to be responsible for my own happiness by pursuing my dreams and having faith in my abilities to make them come true.  Because of this simple action, I can tell you that today I am happier and more fulfilled than I have been in a very long time!  Furthermore, I believe that this new found "power" is helping me to become a better wife, mother and friend...who doesn't want that?!?  

I've said it before and I'll say it again - If there is a dream you want to pursue, DO IT!  We have but one life to live, my friends, and it's too short to waste our time and energy on things (or people) that do not fulfill us.  Now is the time to make a plan, believe in yourself and march on!  For those that are already happy where they're at, I applaud you and wish you continued joy and success!

That being said, I will leave you with a few photos of my Thanksgiving and I hope you're all having a wonderful holiday weekend full of good food, great people and making memories that last a lifetime!

Travel safe & be well my friends!

 

No, I did NOT burn the bird!  That's just how the sauce looks!

My non-traditional centerpiece

Thing 1 having some fun!

Thing 2 was so full of love & happiness!

Pride Begins at Home

As a mom, I try my best to make sure that the twinks are not only proud of who they are as individuals, but also of the special bond they share as twins.  As the mother of biracial/multicultural children, I have the added pleasure of ensuring that they are equally proud of their multiethnic backgrounds.  From their out of control curls to their Spanish speaking abilities, I encourage my children to embrace EVERYTHING that makes them unique.

Sounds like it should be pretty easy right?  I mean they're only 6 years old, so how hard can it be?!  The truth is, it's actually a bit of a daily struggle.  Raising a child to be independent and speak a different language or participate in a specific cultural ceremony because you tell them to, doesn't exactly go hand-in-hand.  The fact that the twins are in school now hasn't helped matters either.  In some ways, it's made some of my goals for them even more difficult.  Although, we are fortunate enough to live in a culturally diverse area, in their school there are very few students who show any level of pride in their cultural backgrounds.  Some students, actually seem to get embarrassed when they have to speak to their parents in their native tongue and for the life of me, I cannot understand why this is allowed!!  Yes, I know they're not my children and it shouldn't concern me, but it does.  We all know how cruel kids can be and the pressure of being accepted can cause our little angels to act like demons sometimes.  Well, there is a similar effect when children witness other kids being teased or embarrassed by something that makes them different - like speaking a foreign language.  We should be teaching our children that the ability to speak more than one language is an exceptional quality and should be appreciated, not used to shame someone or make them feel like an outcast.  We are living in an era where being bilingual is not only an advantage, but in some cases (like getting hired for certain jobs) it's a requirement.  Sadly, my son is one of the children, who prefers to speak in English and will try to whine his way out of speaking Spanish.  Unfortunately, for him, I am far too stubborn to let him win and I've blown his mind a couple of times by informing him that there was a time in his short, little life when all he understood and spoke was Spanish.  Lucky for me, my daughter knows better than to fight this losing battle and will even sing in Spanish!

Now before some of you get your panties in a bunch and start screaming that I'm being unpatriotic, let me assure that I'm not.  I'm as proud as one can be to be American and live in this great nation of ours.  However, as an American, I believe we should be teaching our children to be proud of their roots and allow them to identify with all parts of their culture.  For those who think that that's what things like Hispanic Heritage and Black History month are for, well, sorry but that's hardly adequate.  Our nation was built on the backs of immigrants from all parts of the globe - yes, some were forced here, but many came by choice and without their sacrifice and hard work, the country we call home would be a very different place.  Ironically, many of us would not be here today, if it weren't for these immigrants.  Take me, for example -  my roots span the globe from Africa to Scotland (possibly Ireland) and include Native American ties.  While I don't know every aspect of these cultures, I'm very proud to be a product of all of them and as I learn more about them, I'll teach the twinks about each and every one!

The best part of all of this is that my husband fully supports my efforts and reinforces them by telling the twinks he's as proud of his Salvadoran roots, as he is of his ties to America.  Without him being such a strong example of latin pride, I don't know that I would have as much success, specifically, with my son.  We know that raising our kids to know "El Orgullo de Ser Latinoamericano" while being "Black & Proud" won't be easy, but we'll do our best to make it fun!

To all parents, PLEASE teach your children everything you can about who they are!  If you have certain customs or traditions PRACTICE THEM!  Different parts of this country are known for certain things, if you don't know about yours, learn it and teach it to your children!  If you are a multicultural or biracial family and have a native tongue, teach your children and make them SPEAK IT!  No one should dishonor their roots by allowing them to be forgotten, especially not for the sake of being accepted. 

As always, be well & take care!

My Rock Star Life

By now, most of you know that I am a "Rock Star's wife" because I'm married to a musician.  Some of you may know what this lifestyle is like, but for those that don't allow me to give you an idea of how crazy this life can be.

In the local scene, my husband is known as Dizzy and if you've seen him perform, you know that he enjoys living up to this name!  He can get so charged up during a performance that he literally spins around on stage!  His genre of choice is metal and the bands he's played in have performed all over the DMV.  Many people find it hard to believe that not only am I  married to this "crazy" metalhead, but I actually enjoy being at his shows and I'm a bit of a metalhead, too!  For some reason it's still shocks a few people that I'm a Black woman who's in to metal...you'd think by 2012 we'd be well beyond such racial boundaries, but apparently not.  Oh well, moving on.  When I first met Dizzy, he was so heavily involved in music that I knew in order to be in a relationship with him,  I had to be willing to accept his "other woman".  I affectionately call her, Mistress Music.  Mistress Music can be a relentless beast with a never-ending hunger and if she's not happy, then your musician isn't happy.  No, really - if  the music isn't coming out the way he envisions it, it's often best to steer clear of the hubs for a little while and let  his frustration at not being able to heed the Mistress' call pass.  Remember, musicians are passionate, emotional beings and though not all get to make it big in the music industry, every song and every performance is often done as if it's going to be their breakout hit.

As his girlfriend, and now his wife, I have always understood that the relationship between Dizzy and the Mistress will at times take precedence in our lives.  Between recording commitments, band practices, shows and holding down a regular job, making time for the family might seem next to impossible.  This is where I come in.  Like many wives, I do my best to make sure that my family is happy, healthy, etc. and we all know it's never easy, but when you add in balancing all his band stuff, you can imagine how my life goes from hectic to crazy FAST!  Furthermore, as a Rock Star's wife I also have to accept that sometimes the band commitments may have to come first and, to put it bluntly, sacrifices must be made all in the name of pursuing a passion.  I think it goes without saying that our biggest sacrifice is our alone time.  For example, most Friday nights typically belong to band practice and a couple times a month Date Night is spent hanging out at whatever bar or club the guys are playing at.  If they're headlining, it means they're closing the show and my night doesn't end until some unearthly hour the next day!  In fact, this just happened to us last month.  Silence the Blind (hub's band) just had their last show of 2012 at the end of September and for us it was a 23 hour day.  You read that right - a 23 HOUR DAY!  The show was on a Friday night, but we still had our regular responsibilities of kids and work fulfill.  So, just like any other day, we were up at 5am, went through our regular routines, I added in dropping the kids off at Grandma's for the night, so I could go to the show and we were home by 3am.  You might think it's over once you arrive home, but you'd be wrong - we still had to unload some of his equipment and shower (metal musicians are sweaty beasts after a performance - no way do you want all that nastiness in your bed!) So, sleep was not a possibility until 4am Saturday!  Sure, it's brutal and by no means glamourous, but in my opinion, this is a small price to pay for my husband's happiness and since it doesn't happen on a regular basis, it's really not that bad.  The real bonus for me is that I get the opportunity to see my husband do what he loves most!  Is there anything better than that?!?!  This, my friends, is why I go to every show that I can.  Most of the time, you'll find me right in front of the stage, cheering him on and snapping pictures like I'm the paparazzi!  The times that I can't be there are tough, but it usually means the super powers of Dr. Mom are needed at home and you all know how I much I care about my little Twinkies.

Some people have praised me for being a good wife, who "allows" her husband to live out his dreams of rock stardom, but that's not how I see things at all.  I am merely a woman who fell in love with a man, who was already in love with Mistress Music.  I support my husband's passion with the same intensity and devotion that he supports mine...and that is what it takes to be a Rock Star's wife...

Until next time - be well, support local music & ROCK ON!

Click here to check out Silence the Blind on Facebook!

Get Mistress Music gear, like Dizzy's t-shirt, here!

Keeping It All in Perspective

Over the past couple of weeks I've had the glorious pleasure of enjoying friends welcoming new lives to their families and the distinct sorrow of witnessing how hard it is to say goodbye to a life suddenly taken from us.  

I've grown up hearing that tomorrow is promised to no one and often have taken this life lesson for granted - many of us have.  Only when a tragedy hits home and we are left to pick up the pieces, do we  remember it and start saying how we wish we had done more of this or that before it was too late.  To the contrary, when a baby is born or a new child enters your life, it's so easy to become completely enraptured in the experience and forget that we need to slow down, take a breath and fully appreciate or cherish the moment.  

At the risk of sounding preachy, I urge you all to take heed of the message I'm posting today - 

Cherish each moment, like it's your first time....not your last.  Thinking of something as your last, may inadvertently conjure feelings of regret or sorrow - who needs that?!

Live your life joyfully, honorably....honestly - don't apologize for who you are or how you are, but don't be hateful in your existence either.  Unless, of course, you like being bitter and alone.

When you love someone - friend or family - do so without limitations and accept them as they are.  Saying "I love you, but.." is the same as saying "I wish you were someone else" and if that is the case, then perhaps "love" is not the word you should be using in reference to that person.

Above all else, keep things in perspective.  We allow far too many insignificant or trivial situations and events to steal our happiness and cloud our minds to what really matters in our lives.

To those whom have been taken from this life all to soon, I bid you farewell and thank you for the happy memories you have given me.  To those whom have just joined us, I warmly welcome you and hope I am able to enrich your little lives, as much as you do mine.

To you, my faithful readers, I say thank you for allowing me in to your world and sharing in mine!

Be well & take care...

A New Chapter Begins...

Who remembers this song?  

"Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?

I don't remember growing older

When did they?

When did she get to be a beauty?

When did he get to be so tall?

Wasn't it yesterday

When they were small?

Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly flow the days

Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers

Blossoming even as we gaze..."

You guessed it!  It's "Sunrise, Sunset"  from the musical "The Fiddler on the Roof" and it's been at least  20 years since I last sang this song in a school performance.  For those not familiar with it, "The Fiddler on the Roof" it's basically a story about a father who has to accept that his daughters are growing up - whether he agrees with how they're doing it or not.  Clearly, there's much more to it than this, but we're not here to discuss musicals, right?  

This song started going through my mind about two weeks ago, while I was purchasing kindergarten supplies for the twinks.  I think every kindergarten parent can't help but reflect on how much their babies have grown when faced with preparing them for school for the first time.  Sure,  for the parents who've had their kids in Pre-K or a daycare it's probably not really a big deal, but for first-time parents, like myself, whom have had the pleasure of having their kids cared for at home, starting kindergarten is HUGE!  It's the first time we're really faced with having to accept that our children must leave the comfort of our nests and get ready to face all the good, bad and ugly that the world has to offer.  So, here I was walking the aisles at Target picking up the items on their school supplies list and my heart started racing (and this song playing on auto-repeat in my head) as the realization that soon my precious babies would no longer be under my watchful eye began sinking in.  OK, I know that's a bit dramatic, but honestly, when it comes to my kids that's how I am and you know what?  I've earned the right to be this way.  I had a high risk pregnancy, overcame complications that would have had some women choose to terminate their gestation, ended up having an emergency c-section at 30 weeks, which was so painful that I required a morphine drip AND a prescription for Oxycodone (neither of which had any effect) and have spent every moment of their time on this Earth fighting for or protecting my twinkies - so you bet your ass that when it comes to caring for them, I am one hell of a force to reckon with. 

(Whew! Everybody OK?  That outburst surprised me, too!  Now back to the story at hand...)

I actually started their school year fighting for them.  See, where I live it's customary for multiple birth siblings (twin, triplets, etc.) to be separated in school.  The belief behind this practice is that it allows each child to develop as an individual and aid in preventing classroom distractions.  I understand this thinking, however, I do not agree that the school system should be making this decision, especially not without consulting the parents.  Since I was aware of this practice, I asked the twins early on how they felt about it and neither of them wanted to be separated.  Seeing how strongly they felt, there was no way I could have them start school without trying to keep them together.  So, during the registration process, I asked the school's Staff Development professional about the school's stance on separating multiple siblings and she confirmed that their policy is to separate them.  When I told her I prefer them to be in the same classroom, she gave a slight smirk and stated that I could speak to the Assistant Principal about my concerns, but that separation is really a standard practice throughout the county.  So, I came home, did my research and discovered that there is a law in place where parents may make a written request for their multiples to be in the same class and the school is required to comply for at least 30 days.  Well, that was all I needed to know!  I sent my request via email and I'm happy to say that as of today, the twins are in the same classroom!  Could this change?  Yes, but not without someone giving me a good reason for it.  

This, my friends, is how my family's next chapter of Life is beginning.  I find it bittersweet and exciting all at once.  I am so proud of my precious little ones for all that they have accomplished, so far.  I love the excitement that they have for going to school, experiencing new things and discovering  their potential in new ways!  From this day forward our definitions of "quality time" and "vacation" have taken on a whole new meaning and purpose.  I know that there will be many trials and tribulations before us.  I have accepted that there are many things I will not be able to protect them from and although it pains me deeply, I know that there will also be times when all I can do is be there to hug them and wipe away their tears (sniff, sniff.)  (Sigh) This may be one of the hardest years of parenthood, I've had yet...is it too soon to start planning our 2013 summer vacation?!?!

Be well & take care all!  

Our Super Summer Vacation - Part 2

I hope you enjoyed Part 1 of our family vacation.  If you're a little behind, no worries, you can scroll down to the Archives (on the lower right hand side) and catch up.  Now let's jump in to the second part of our trip!

As I mentioned before, Ocean City has one of the best boardwalks in America and no trip is ever complete without having at least one leisurely stroll down it and we were lucky enough to have time for two!  With carnival games, rides, all kinds of t-shirt and boutique shops, not to mention candy stores and even sidewalk performers, you can almost be overwhelmed by the boardwalk experience, but it is so worth it.  At night, I find all the lights, smells and sounds to be almost intoxicating.  They can make you  feel like a kid in a candy store and you literally don't know what you want to do first.  That being said, I suggest you plan ahead for how much money you want to spend there, because you'll be surprised how quickly you'll have spent a small fortune.

Our first trip down was on Tuesday night and it was magical!  We made a quick stop for ice cream and then headed straight to Trimper's Rides/Amusements.  Trimper's area is closer to the main road than the beach and they have great rides for the younger/smaller kids.  We've been to Trimper's before and the twins always have a great time on the rides, but I think this visit was their best one yet!  Why?  Because this time they got to go on their first roller coaster with their Papi!  Yes, my metalhead man proudly stepped up (without hesitation, I might add) to the challenge of riding the Wiggly Worm roller coaster with his kids!  Watching the three of them whip through the small twists, turns and even a small drop, warmed my heart and will live with me forever.  Once we had our fill of the rides, we headed over to the beach side of the boardwalk for a planned beach event.  This year, Ocean City has fireworks on the beach every Tuesday night at 10pm for the entire summer (final show will be Sunday, September 2nd).   As Thing 1 & Thing 2 have never seen them before, I thought this would be a great first experience!  Personally, I can get lost in those colorful explosions for hours, but this time I could barely focus on them.  I was too busy being completely enamored with the look of pure joy on my kids' faces.  With each explosion they would giggle and squeal with delight, while shouting for us to look at how much bigger and brighter each new explosion was compared to the last!  Their smiles were so infectious that I couldn't help but join in their happiness and by the time the approximately 15 - 20 minute display was done my whole face was sore!  I could have lived in that moment forever and I'm so grateful to have been able to give my children such a beautiful memory that will hopefully last a lifetime!  If you've never had the chance to see fireworks on the beach, I highly recommend it!  I mean, really, everything is just better at the beach, right?!

Our second trip to the boardwalk was all about the rides and yours truly even got in on the action - sort of!  This time we went to the Jolly Roger Amusement Park side.  Much like Trimper's, Jolly Roger has lots of fun rides for kids of all ages and this time Hubs went on a couple of rides by himself.  As for me, there was only one ride I was interested in going on - the Ferris Wheel!  The Ferris Wheel is reported to be the largest one in Ocean City and I believe it's probably one of the most popular attractions.  During the day, you get a magnificent view of the beach and the inlet.  At night, there's nothing but lights as far as the eye can see - car headlights, venue lights, the boardwalk lit up bright enough to almost make it look like it's daytime - all of it is truly breathtaking.  Needless to say, my favorite time to ride is the nighttime.  So, after some serious convincing (it's not really hubby's favorite thing to do) and impatiently waiting in line, we finally had our turn on the Ferris Wheel!  It was awesome!  We laughed, talked and for the 15 minutes or so that we were on that ride, it was like the rest of the world disappeared...that, my friends, is why I prefer riding at night  (peaceful sigh.)

Sadly, our last day came all too quickly and as we travelled down Coastal Highway to head out of town, we decided to make one last stop for family fun at a great indoor/outdoor miniature golf place called Old Pro Golf.  Old Pro Golf has 3 locations in Ocean City and they each have a different theme.     We chose the one on 68th Street because of it's indoor/outdoor feature.  OK, I'll be honest - the dinosaurs on the outdoor course were just too cool for me to pass up!  The indoor course was equally impressive with an "Under the Sea Adventure" theme.  Both courses appeared to offer nice challenges for my little golfers, but since it was our last morning to soak in the ocean breeze, we decided to play outside.  The kids would pretend that the dino and caveman sculptures were real and that they were trying to eat our golf balls!  My husband and my son, both, got a hole-in-one, my daughter came very close and I actually came in last place, but none of us really cared - we were just happy that we did it together.  Interestingly enough, that is the one thing all of us came home talking about - how great it was to spend so much time together.  

If nothing else this vacation reminded me of the importance of not taking my family for granted and to make every moment together count.  Sure, it sounds simple, but we all know it's not.  Between smartphones, tablets and all other forms of portable technology we've become overly accessible to everyone.  I advise you all  to remember to unplug every once in a while and give your loved ones your full undivided attention...especially when you're on vacation!  On that note, I'll bid you farewell for now  and leave with a few pictures of our time at Old Pro Golf.  Enjoy!

 

Our Super Summer Vacation - Part 1

Can you believe the summer is almost over?!  The only thing keeping me from the brink of depression is knowing that football season is right around the corner!  But, that's a post for another time.  Today I want to tell you about the wonderful family vacation we had in Ocean City, MD.  In fact, we had such a great time that I'm giving you two posts about it!  In my opinion, Ocean City is one of the best vacation destinations in the DMV (metropolitan area comprised of DC, Maryland, Virginia).  With 10 miles of free access beaches and a boardwalk that is recognized as one of the best boardwalks in America (see for yourself here), it offers something for everyone!  

As I told you in my last post (Freedom is Beautiful) things have been a little crazy & very busy for me and my family, so we were more than ready for this vacation.  Of course, in true rockstar style, my husband had a show the night before we left.  I do NOT advise this for anyone!  It is pure craziness to be out until almost one o'clock in the morning, knowing very well that the next day you're going to be trapped in the car for a minimum of 3 hours with TWO 5 year olds that must be entertained at all times - even the portable DVD system can't hold their attention very long.  Truthfully, we were so anxious to get out of town that the show was a bit of a blur and we didn't really allow fatigue to set in until we got in to our hotel room.  Ahhhh - our hotel room....correction - our oceanfront hotel room!  This year, we stayed at The Carousel Hotel, which is about a 15 minute drive from the boardwalk.  This was our second stay at The Carousel, but our first time in an oceanfront room and let me tell you, waking up to this sight every day was spectacular!!!

As for the hotel, while it's not a luxury resort type of place, it is very family-friendly with a bounce house for the kids, indoor & outdoor pools, an onsite restaurant and even an ice rink which features nightly performances by a female dance team that you can view for free!  I know some people may not care about all that since, you know, you're at the beach and all, but it is nice to have these amenities whether you use them or not.  Now, if you ever decide to stay at The Carousel, I have two pieces of advice:

1.  Splurge for the oceanfront room (check for specials before booking)
2.  Ask for a room on the 3rd or 4th floor

The 4th floor has the  best view and you shouldn't hear too much noise from the outdoor pool/patio bar area, but know that their check-in is a first come, first served style, it's good idea to be patient and keep your options in mind.  

We stayed for 5 fun-filled days / 4 glorious nights and had the time of our lives!!!  Most mornings we admired the sunrise and had breakfast in our room.  That's right, I went in to full Domestic Diva mode and made enough breakfast food for the whole week - pancakes for everyone!  The first two days we were complete beach bums - out on the sand by no later than 9:30am and we didn't leave until we were hungry enough for dinner!  Sadly, our sunscreen didn't have the same staying power and we all got a little burned, but we still had a GLORIOUS time!  The twinks were ridiculously happy making sand castles and playing in the surf and we all had a blast watching my rockin' hubby be thrown around, sometimes quite viciously, by 3-4 ft waves.  I remember thinking to myself a number of times, "Life doesn't get any better than this!"  I mostly waded in the water, so I could keep a close eye on Thing 1 & Thing 2 (you guys are used to all my nicknames for the twins by now, right?)  And, I have to tell you, I think I must have been a mermaid in a past life because I am never more at peace than when I'm in ocean.  Speaking of peaceful, I can't tell you how nice it was to spend so much time disconnected from all of our electronic devices.  I mean, we had our cell phones in case of emergencies but other than that we allowed ourselves to be unplugged from our social networking accounts and to my delight, my mister didn't bring his company cell phone nor his computer.  For the first time in a long time, we truly enjoyed each others company, gave each other our full undivided attention and just lived in the moment.  I advise all of you to do this as much as possible and see if it doesn't vastly improve not only your relationship, but also the quality of your "Family Time".  At nighttime we came alive and ventured out to the boardwalk for some family fun, but we'll talk about that next time.  For dinner we ate in the hotel restaurant and checked out a couple of the local restaurants.  Before I tell you about that though, I have to say, for me the best meal of the day was lunch.  All we ate were simple sandwiches and hot dogs, but the scenery and the atmosphere....well, I think we can all agree that nothing can compare to having a picnic on the beach!  Who couldn't look at this all day?!?

 

Back to dinnertime!  There is one restaurant I have to tell you about, Higgins Crab House - it's an all-you-can-eat place and a "must see" for crab lovers!  They have two locations, but my personal favorite is the one on 128th Street.  They have outdoor seating and even though some of the seating is right next to Coastal Highway, the main road in Ocean City, it's still relatively peaceful.  The one thing you should be aware of is that occasionally some inconsiderate (insert explicative) person may decide to smoke out there, regardless of small children or even pregnant women being around them (grrrrrr - makes me so angry).  Moving on - since I'm a vegetarian, I order my and the kids' meals from the a la carte menu, while my hubster gets his grub on with the all-you-can-eat crabs and chicken platter.  Yes, you read that correctly - crabs AND fried chicken, plus corn, coleslaw and all-you-can-eat fries!!  Obviously, I can't tell you first-hand how it is, but I can tell it must be phenomenal because despite his lips being on fire from the Old Bay, my man put down 3 fully loaded trays of crabs!!  I even had to use my ice water to make him a cold compress for his lips so he could keep eating!  

So, there's your first glimpse in to our vacation.  I hope you've enjoyed it!  Next post we'll get in to our putt putt golf adventure and our time on the boardwalk!  If you want to know more about Ocean City, check out their official website here and find out more about The Carousel here.  For now, I'll leave you with a couple of pics of The Carousel Hotel and Higgins Crab House.

Until next time my friends!